is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Randomize
