new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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