better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
This toilet bowl is my home.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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