we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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