the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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