I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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