I look better un-naked...
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize