You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
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