she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
