But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
