if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
