do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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