tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
