i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
