...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm passing your future prison.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
