Only a mothe r could love this liver
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
