I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
