I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
You were trust falling into bushes
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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