i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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