no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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