Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
We left an ass print on the piano.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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