Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
