Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
