Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
