3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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