She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
