Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
