I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize