Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
