I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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