Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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