You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
