No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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