Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize