he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
