i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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