Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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