Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
