when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
