i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize