forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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