but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Sext me about skeletons
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
