But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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