you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
