I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
