I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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