Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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