i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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