And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
