Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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