im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
