Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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