How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
