all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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