no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
