the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
