i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
