I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Oh god it's open bar.
Randomize
