You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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