Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
