Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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