I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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