She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
