her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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